Well, folks, it's almost here. In less than a week, that jolly, rotund man with a fondness for red suits will try to cram his plump derrière into every chimney known to humankind. This typically signals the arrival of uncontainable excitement for little ones and die-hard Christmas enthusiasts everywhere. But for oh so many women? The only thing "jolly" about this season is the overwhelming wave of stress as we’re expected to channel our inner Donna Hay, multitask like event planners, and maintain the zen of the Dalai Lama. Hence the term “surviving” — which, spoiler alert, is not as fun as it sounds.
But let’s change that narrative, shall we? Whether you're flying solo, entertaining the offspring or extended family, or blissfully planning to take a break from the madness, let's explore how we, the original custodians of holiday magic, can thrive over the festive period. We’re going to take the positive route, and if that’s a stretch? Well, then we’ll take a light-hearted view of what's coming!
The Hallmark Holiday Dream vs. Reality
Lights twinkling, carols filling the air, family gatherings — sounds like a Christmas card, doesn’t it? My first thought was holy shit, that’s soon? I’ve only just recovered from the last one, which, let’s just say, was a Grade A dumpster fire. You know, when I tried to play hostess with the mostest for overseas visitors and ended up on a beach in gale-force winds, driving in a car with no aircon while my kids tried to hide from my hot-headed rage? Absolute chaos. This year? I'm keeping it simple. I’m going to please myself, take it easy, and remind myself: it’s just one day, meant for celebration and fun.
For Those Going Solo — A Quiet Revolution
For some, "fun" may not even be on the radar, especially if you're facing this holiday season alone. Trust me, I know how tough that can be. The struggle is real — it’s hard because of the festive brainwashing, the "everyone should be happy and merry!" messaging. But the truth is, it’s just a day. In my earlier years of spending Christmas alone, I struggled. Then one year, I flipped the script. I celebrated before or after the 25th, with my kids, just as easily as I could’ve on the day. And when the big day came, I had MY day off. Oh yes, you heard that right — a day to do whatever the heck I wanted.
Please, whatever you do, don’t compare your day to others'. Instead of going all out, I did things like beach days, picnics, and waterfall walks, all while others were doing the same — and it was brilliant. No stress, no cooking, no cleaning. In the evenings, I found fun things to do. You can absolutely make it work. And if it’s not for you, use your network! Post in our chat group to find other fabulous women who are in the same boat. Find your tribe.
How to Thrive at Family Gatherings (Not Just Survive)
Now, let’s talk about those family get-togethers. I recommend taking a stroll down memory lane to evaluate the past few Christmases. What worked? What didn’t? What are you really willing to put up with this year? Then, set some firm boundaries. I can already hear you saying, "Boundaries? Yeah, sure," but hear me out — it works.
Set Boundaries Like a Christmas QueenThis holiday season, take a stand! Delegate tasks! Have someone else bring dessert, ask your partner to handle the gift-wrapping, and, for goodness’ sake, if the house isn’t Instagram-perfect, who cares? You're conserving energy for the things that truly matter. Pro tip: When saying “no,” try, “I’d love to help, but I need to pace myself this year. Can you take over this one thing for me?” Or, “Ask me tomorrow.” Or, if you’re like me, make a chalkboard list of requests — when others see how long your list is, they might just back off.
Combat the Heat — From the Oven and Hormonal FlashesIs it the roast turkey that’s making you sweat, or another hot flash? Look, if you're in Australia, many families are ditching the oven for a more relaxed approach. This year, I'll be spending Christmas with my partner's family, and they’ve got it down to a fine art. Everyone contributes a pre-approved dish, all cooking is done the day before, and the rest of us clean, entertain the kids, or set up games. It’s a well-oiled machine. Tradition? More like exploitation of one person. That’s not thriving — that’s slavery!
Prioritise “Me Time” (Yes, Seriously)I know what you're thinking: Me time? In this economy? But hear me out — you deserve a break. The trick? Don’t plan elaborate self-care activities like meditation or walks. That’ll just add pressure to your already overflowing plate. Instead, just plan to hide. Find a cozy spot to sit, breathe, and reset your nerves. Don’t stress over time. When the chaos settles, treat yourself to a little peace — that's the best self-care.
Don’t Let Food (or Family) Be a TriggerIndulge in the holiday treats, but remember, certain foods can mess with your hormones. Alcohol, caffeine, and sugary snacks might trigger hot flashes, irritability, or sleeplessness. Go ahead — enjoy everything in moderation, but don’t overdo it. And if you do? Well, treat yourself with grace — and have a plan for the next day’s recovery, because you know you’ll need it when you do it all over again.
Don’t Let Family Dynamics Ruin Your DayIf family members or friends are a source of stress, have a strategy for those tricky conversations. Know your limits, and don’t tolerate the toxic stuff. It’s your holiday too, so if you need to escape the madness, do it. Trust me, no one will notice if you disappear to the pantry to “look for snacks.”
Let Go of PerfectionThe best holiday moments are rarely perfect. It’s the accidental burnt pudding, the chaotic gift unwrapping, or those quiet moments of gratitude that truly matter. So, ditch the idea of a picture-perfect holiday and focus on the joy in the little things. Like when you realize you used salt instead of sugar in the cake, or when your partner runs through the house naked and totally wasted — now that's gold.
Final Thought: The Gift of Self-CompassionChristmas is a time for giving, but don’t forget to give to yourself. Whether it's a little grace during a mood swing or the luxury of resting after a hectic day, self-compassion is the best gift you can give yourself. This year, embrace the chaos, the love, and the imperfections. You've got this — negativity doesn’t stand a chance against your holiday spirit!
Nic, Candy, and I (Keri) would love to wish you a very fun and festive Christmas and New Year. You’re not just surviving — you’re thriving!
Nic and I nailed presents for each other this year. Have a look.
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