In 2020, the world went a little crazy, and so did I. Stuck at home, working remotely, and with no one to see, I started to feel like my walls were closing in. I needed something new, something wild—something adventurous and daring. I discovered something new, almost like fate had a cheeky grin—pole dancing shook its booty into my life. Yes, pole dancing. At 37. Now, four years later, at 41, I’m gearing up for my first competition, and let me tell you, it’s been a ride like no other.
This isn’t just a tale of twirling around a pole. It’s about rediscovering my strength, rebuilding my body confidence, and learning that life after 40 can be as exhilarating as you want it to be. So, let’s dive in.
It’s Never Too Late to Try Something New. It’s Too Late If You Don’t.
You might be thinking, “Isn’t pole dancing for younger women or strippers?” Well, let me tell you straight—age is just a number. When I first stepped into Elements Pole and Aerial studio, I was a bundle of nerves. I mean, there I was, a woman dawning on 40, about to swing around a pole. But you know what, that first class, it was like opening a door to a whole new world. Age didn’t matter, the bigger the ass the better the sass; what mattered was the courage to try.
And that’s my first big takeaway: it’s never too late to try something new. Whether it’s pole dancing, skydiving, or picking up a paintbrush—if you’ve been thinking about it, do it. The only time it’s too late is when you decide not to give it a go.
There’s No Such Thing as Shorts That Are Too Short.
Let’s get one thing straight: pole dancing requires a lot of skin contact with the pole. So those tiny shorts? Yeah, they’re not just a fashion statement—they’re a necessity. When I first slipped into a pair, I felt more exposed than I ever had. But then I realised something profound: in that studio, everyone was there for the same reason—to get stronger, to have fun, and to celebrate our bodies.
Wearing those “too short” shorts taught me to embrace and appreciate my body in ways I never imagined. Every scar, every stretch mark, every muscle has a story, and showing up in those shorts. That’s me saying, “This is who I am, and I’m damn proud of it.”
The Power of an all Girl (and the occasional bloke) Fan Club
One of the unexpected gifts of my pole dancing journey has been the incredible women I’ve met along the way. These women, they’re not just classmates; they’re my tribe. We’ve cheered each other on through the toughest moves and supported each other through life’s rough patches, I've cried, I've vented, but more than anything I've laughed, like the big as belly laugh that soothes your heart and your soul.
Having a community like this is a game-changer. It’s a reminder that no matter what life throws at us, we’re stronger together, we lift each other up, one "can you spot me" at a time.
Pole Burn Is a Thing—And I Wear It Like a Badge of Honor
Let’s talk about pole burn. It’s a real thing, and yes, it hurts like hell. Those bruises you see on a pole dancer’s legs... they’re not just there for decoration. They’re battle scars. And you know what? I wear them like badges of honour.
At first, the pain was a shock. But over time, I started to see those bruises as symbols of my growth. They’re a reminder that I’m pushing myself, getting stronger, and embracing every challenge that comes my way. There’s something undeniably powerful about owning that pain and turning it into pride.
It’s Great for Mental Health—Life’s Problems Go Away When You’re Hanging by Your Feet
Pole isn’t just about physical strength; it’s a powerful exercise in mental resilience and empowerment. Each spin, climb, and hold demands intense concentration and determination, pushing you to overcome not just the physical challenges but also the mental barriers that might hold you back. The sense of accomplishment after nailing a new move or perfecting a routine is unmatched—it’s a testament to both your physical and mental grit. In those moments of victory, you’re reminded of your inner strength, and that confidence carries over into every aspect of life outside the studio. Pole dancing becomes more than just a workout; it’s a journey of self-discovery, where you learn to trust your body, embrace your power, and find peace in the flow of movement.
The Undeniable Benefits of Strength Training for Women Over 40
One of the biggest revelations I’ve had through my pole dancing journey is just how powerful strength training is, especially as we age. It’s more than just lifting weights or doing resistance exercises—it’s about reclaiming control over our bodies and our lives.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Improved Bone Density: As we age, our bones become more vulnerable to osteoporosis. Strength training helps increase bone density and reduces the risk of fractures by stimulating bone growth and strengthening the muscles that support our bones. This is especially important for women, as highlighted by the National Osteoporosis Foundation.
Enhanced Metabolism and Weight Management: Our metabolism naturally slows down as we get older, making weight management more challenging. Strength training helps maintain and even increase muscle mass, which in turn boosts metabolism. (Source: Strength training: Get stronger, leaner, healthier, Mayo Clinic)
Improved Balance and Stability: Strength training is not just about building muscle—it’s also about improving balance and stability. This is critical as we age because it reduces the risk of falls, which can have serious consequences. (Source: The Difference Between Balance And Stability, Base Camp Health)
Better Mental Health: The mental benefits of strength training can’t be overstated. It’s been linked to reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety, as well as an overall improvement in mood. Many organisations highlight that strength training releases endorphins, which act as natural mood boosters, helping us to stay positive and resilient.
Preservation of Muscle Mass and Strength: After 30, we naturally start to lose muscle mass—a condition called sarcopenia. Strength training is the most effective way to combat this, helping us to preserve our strength, mobility, and independence as we age. A review published in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research underscores the importance of resistance training in maintaining muscle mass and function.
My Personal Strength Story
In 2023, I found out that I had broken my spinal fusion, causing a 50% slip to my L4/5. My fusion was from an injury I sustained when I was just 14, but the latest slip happened four or five years ago, likely during a fall off an obstacle in something called "Obstacle Hell."
When I learned about the condition, it was a shock to the system. In theory, I’m lucky I can stand upright, but the real revelation came in realising just how powerful strength training has been, especially as I’ve aged. The muscles I’ve built, the core strength I’ve developed, have all played a part in keeping me mobile and, well, defying the odds.
Against medical advice, I’m still dancing. I’m still lifting. I’m still doing the things I love, and yes, I’m probably turning my physiotherapist grey in the process. But that’s the beauty of strength training—it doesn’t just give you physical power; it gives you the mental fortitude to push through challenges, to face adversity head-on, and to keep going when the odds are stacked against you.
The Journey Continues
As I prepare for my first competition in October, I can’t help but reflect on how far I’ve come. What started as a way to escape the boredom of lockdown has turned into a passion that has reshaped my life. I’m stronger, more confident, and more in tune with my body than ever before. And the best part? The journey’s just beginning.
So here’s my advice: If there’s something you’ve been curious about—whether it’s pole dancing, strength training, or anything else—don’t let age or fear hold you back. It’s never too late to try something new. Your strongest, most confident self is waiting to be discovered.
And remember, there’s no such thing as shorts that are too short. Embrace your journey, bruises and all. Life is too short not to dance.
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